Keyword: Craig Marshall Smith
26 results total, viewing 1 - 20

Relentless barking is the sound of entitled thinking

Welcome to the neighborhood, but your dog has been barking for two hours — and it’s not the first time. Welcome to the neighborhood, but your dog has been barking for two hours — and it’s not … more

Problem with heights is just medium high

Don’t look down. I would rather not look down from high places. How about you? I don’t have it bad, and it’s not vertigo. The misconception about Alfred Hitchcock’s film “Vertigo” is that … more

Tale of innovative artwork follows fascinating thread

When someone mentions “quilt,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Your aunt? Your grandmother? Your grandmother’s aunt? Me? I think of the young woman who cleans my teeth. Lindsay … more

Lovers of classic machines are caught in a type warp

Watched a documentary about typewriters. Titled “California Typewriter.” Came out in 2016. Numerous segments. Featuring typewriter loyalists: Tom Hanks, John Mayer, Sam Shepard. Others less … more

Okay, okay, there’s no two ways about it

I had writer’s block. I had no original ideas. I knew if the block lingered, I would revert, and harangue about the injustices being, like, done, like, to, like, the English language. So I went to … more

Music lovers note their favorite songs

“Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” “Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” “Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” “Philip Glass.” That joke goes out to my friend and former KVOD host David … more

A switch in time ain’t kind

Don’t forget to fall back. I would rather not fall back or spring forward, and every year others express the same thing at the time, and then we forget about it until it comes around again. It’s … more

Show me the gore, I’ll show you the door

For unknown reasons, I have never wanted to enter the rhythm of a Black Sabbath concert, or walk down the mall with fake blood on my face, or a fake severed head under my arm. Maybe you can tell me … more

There are no words for these classic films

Silents are golden. (Microsoft Word is telling me there’s a typo in that sentence, but it’s not true.) Silent films are golden to me. Many silent films and directors and performers were great, … more

Name that tune, and win a chance to be quoted without compensation

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” That’s what German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, and he didn’t even have a chance to hear Pink Floyd. Or Philip Glass, This Mortal Coil, the … more

The object is to name objectionable objects

It’s no contest, but if it were a contest, what inanimate object would get your vote for “Most Likely to Exasperate” you to the point of expressions that cannot be printed here? Note: Naming a … more

Farewell to laundromats is a wash come true

I just washed a load of colors and had a particularly gruesome flashback to a time when I didn’t own a washing machine. I didn’t own a washing machine until I was 33. I depended upon the ones in … more

Check out groceries, human scenery, and emotionally

“Place the item in the bag.” “Place the item in the bag.” How many times could you hear “Place the item in the bag” before losing your mind? This is an ode to the 21st-century American … more

You only get one life, but hey, no pressure

“September Song” is a song. While the title has always been perplexing to me (why wasn’t it called “September”), the metaphor implied in it never has been, although when I first understood … more

Artists collaborate on pieces in show

“Meyerose and Smith: Collaborations” will run Aug. 30 to Oct. 30 at the PACE Center’s gallery at 20000 Pikes Peak Ave. in Parker. It features 12 collaborative paintings by Jennifer Meyerose and … more

Want to be a mermaid? Fin, have it your way

I just heard about something called “mermaiding.” It’s been around for a while, but I do my best to stay out of touch, partly because some of these things come and go almost overnight. The … more

Views from an expert in the laughingstock market

I could give a two-day seminar on the No. 2 pencil, but I couldn’t have an intelligent two-minute conversation about the stock market. Those words — “stock market” — have intimidated me … more

The last, final diatribe on an unneeded, unnecessary word

I, like, give up. Once a year for the past eight years, I have written a column about the extra-grammatical use of the word “like” and its part in the ruination of the English language. Each … more

Guys, please stop wearing clown shoes with cleats

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey may have gone out of business, but there are still plenty of clowns to go around. They perform in the National Football League, and provide adoring fans with … more

All joking aside, brace yourself for puns

When Chopin — one of my favorites — died, he began to decompose. No one is born with a sense of humor, and you can’t order one online. Some people are funny and some people aren’t. Some … more
1 | 2 Next »
Currently viewing stories posted within the past 6 months.
For all older stories, please use our advanced search.
Our Papers

Ad blocker detected

We have noticed you are using an ad blocking plugin in your browser.

The revenue we receive from our advertisers helps make this site possible. We request you whitelist our site.